Updated: Jul 2
Nah because…Shit is crazy right. We give our whole entire selves to people who in no way, shape or form is qualified for the position. What’s worse than an under qualified individual is going against our own intuition and discernment. That weight is heavy once it’s lifted and the longer you hold onto it, expect continuous declines in your body and overall being. I’ll tell you this, if you can relate, throw it in some alligator infested swamp water, drop it in an active volcano, hand it off to your worse enemy, I don’t care, just free yourself from it. Let that shit go and embrace you because why are we our worst cheerleader? To be totally honest, I don’t even know how mine made the squad. That bitch is the laziest. Just over there eating her feelings and neglecting her duties in keeping me going.
But seriously, why do we continue to date potential? As children, we were taught to be innovative and imaginative, what’s neglected in that lesson is, you can’t imagine or wishful think someone into being something they are not. Likely you can, but pretending that a person is who you want them to be in your mind verses who they really are walking this earth, will only irritate your psyche, not theirs of course, they’re just fine, you met them this way. That person is who that person is. Accept them for whom they’ve developed themselves to be. Leave “they have some good qualities” out of it. It’s unfair to you, your patience and energy.
Date on your level and then go beyond that. Being the smartest person in any room is not a flex. Date someone who shares similar interests. Date someone who you can converse with and bounce ideas off of. Someone who’s considerate of your feelings and surroundings. Someone who will protect you. Full stop! Love will always come. Love is the follow up. Make sure you are equally yoked first. Stay away from the ones who seem too put together or too busy or overly loving because they’re not. It’s all fallacies, they knowingly can’t reach your level so they pretend. It’s calculated and meticulous. This next one is difficult but stay far away from people who secretly despise you. These are the ones who are intimidated by your natural being, now they’re trying to control you. You won’t catch that instantly but there’s always subtle signs and red flags baby. Stay in tune with your innate intuition, it was given to us for this very reason. Most importantly, don’t be a chaotic persons peace. This person would first need to find peace within themselves before they can offer it to anyone else. They suck energies, their vacuum off switch is broken. Usain Bolt your ass on out of there. Release the fantasy you have about them in your mind. This low vibrational individual will bring you to their lowest level and kick you down further. It’s a long, brutal army crawl back to the previous you. Avoid them at all cost.
Have you ever had someone insult the very intelligence that they’ve previously complimented you on? It’s tactical and it’s hurtful. I had one like that in my previous life. His drink of choice was gaslighting with a double shot of manipulation. His comments about the way I lived my life came with a heaping side of jealously, served cold, on a corroded aluminum platter. It’s laughable that a habitual awful liar would demand respect. “RESPECT ME!”, how can I when every time your mouth opens a lie falls out and when it’s closed you’re only thinking of more lies. “What I say goes”, it’s giving…I was never heard as a child and not respected amongst my peers as an adult.
Like, can you imagine, me on mute? With his backwards way of thinking, he preferred me that way. If love is allowing a person to be free why was I his third caged pet whimpering in his living room? It was mental imprisonment. Yes I put you in a box, I feed and water you when I’m ready, be grateful and don’t even think about complaining. “You. Need Me”.
When he figured he couldn’t meet my standards he labeled me ungrateful. I’m accustomed to many things, I show up in many ways in my relationships. I’m more of a “did you eat, are you good, I’m proud of you, let me know when you make it home safe”, type of partner. This, to him was mothering, yet, remember, pet cage. A vegan who could devour a porterhouse needed an unwavering amount of congratulatory's whenever he did give me a teaspoon of the attention that he knew I desired. “People love the idea of me”, it didn’t take long to realize that he meant people love what he perceived to be his true self over his true self. His daily self loathing had me questioning what I could have done in my previous life to be betrayed in this current one? My life was/is dope! I’ve lived out several dreams. But surely, this is not the situationship I manifested.
“People purposely misunderstand me” as his style of communication is what he thought always worked: quick wit and confusion. It was death by a thousand cuts with him, but hol' up let me act confused on why her attitude is in constant shift change. Time after time he demanded I pour from the same cup he emptied. I had to realize that a positive disposition will never be enough to satisfy a quaking bitter soul and feeling alone while partnered is a harsh living condition. With him it was a constant battle on what I knew and what I felt vs his best of his worst lies. We were in a lovers turmoil. When the problem asks you what the problem is, I had best continued to support his childish antics while he maneuvered through multiple women sunken energies if I wanted him to do right by me?! Yea. That gave me a headache too. As the lies he told grew like the “growth” on his brain, the less I respected him as a human. Your “monster” is showing. Anything I “questioned” [held him accountable on] was deemed “disrespectful” and “combative”, all of this coming from the self proclaimed “bad guy” who lacked self confidence.
Beating your chest to show dominance is the foolish way of trying to get my attention. What’s a chimp to a gorilla? How can you lead me when the state deemed you unworthy to hold a drivers license? Why after all this time I’m still being cast as the villain in your storyline, why couldn’t you throw on your lil Batman cape and save yourself? My love, it’s not my fault you live your life in weak-kneed fear and steadfast doubt. Clear the clutter from around you, I promise you’ll find the peace and clarity you’re looking for. #iSnicker
And THIS is why you shouldn’t wake a sleeping bear. I once heard that the other side of me is callous and passionless. I won’t disagree, but what they fail to mention is how many times they’ve crossed me. I’m a bully and an attack dog, don’t try me if you were bred with betrayal. I was single and happy and whole. You came to me, you promised me and ultimately did the exact opposite of the many reasons you asked for a chance with me.
So yes, it’s imperative that you date on your level. It’s imperative that you watch for red flags. It’s imperative to listen to unspoken words. Your mental health should always be a priority over any relationship.
Frenchi, I is the bad guy